Bible is Bulls***!

Why The Bible is Bulls***!

Why The Bible is Bulls***!

Why The Bible is Bulls***!

***Warning Explicit Language***

This article is for pure comedic enjoyment; what we have here is a ‘short’ list of some of the obvious BS in the bible and a very short summary to why it is BS.

We hope you enjoy!

-AAPN

The story of Genesis: Pseudoscientific Bullshit ( Because science doesn’t care what you “believe in”…)

 

The story of Adam and Eve: Foreseeable Bullshit ( If God is all knowing…)

 

The Story of Cain and Able: Dead End Bullshit ( If Adam and Eve had 3 sons [Cain, Able, and Seth] how did Cain and Able manage to find wives in the next town over?)

 

The story of Jacob: Stupid Bullshit ( Mother Goose could have come up with a better explanation than this…)

 

The story of Noah: Total Bullshit ( Seriously the whole story can be debunked by a 5th grader…)

 

The story of Exodus: Where is the Bullshit? ( 2 million Jews and not a shred of evidence?)

 

The story of Jobe: Hypocritical Bullshit ( Who was there to account for this bet, and isn’t betting considered a sin anyways?)

 

The story of Jonah: Exaggerated Bullshit ( Because everyone has a fish tale or two…)

 

The story of Sodom and Gomorrah: Nonexistent Bullshit ( Beyond the bible, there is no evidence or mention of these two cities… or random human shaped pillars of salt…)

 

The Story of Lot: Incestual Bullshit ( Do we really need to go into detail about this?)

 

Story of Abraham: Crazy Bullshit ( Because hearing voices wasn’t considered as being crazy then…)

 

The story of Lazarus: Tired Bullshit ( News flash, your body is still functioning when you’re sleeping. You can only sleep so long before needing food, water, or to use the bathroom for that matter.)

 

The story of Samson: Hairy Bullshit ( Because somehow a luscious mane of hair can be the ticket to superhuman strength)

 

The Story of Judas: Double Bullshit (Two deaths, one person…)

 

Story of Jesus walking on water: Over Hyped Bullshit ( The Bible claims Jesus walked on water, we watched on live T.V. Neil Armstrong walk on the moon…)

 

The story of Revelations: Apocalyptic Bullshit ( Because somehow the stars and planets will fall to earth… take all the time you need to think about that one…)

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4 thoughts on “Why The Bible is Bulls***!”

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