LogikalThreads top ten funny atheist shirts

A List of Our Top 10 Funny Atheist Shirts.

Posted by Logikal Owl on July 14, 2019

We’ve made many atheist shirts over the years, some of which never even make it to the store. This list is a collection of the ones voted our best and most funny atheist shirts by our viewers.

Here’s the list of our top 10 Funny Atheist Shirts

10. The God Lie

The God Lie Funny Atheist Shirt

Inspired by The Godfather Series. I had to spend some time on this one to ensure that I wasn’t violating any copyright laws. As one of my earliest designs, it never really sold well, but got great responses on our social pages.

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9. God Is Imaginary

God Is Imaginary Funny Atheist Shirt

This design was a request from a follower on Instagram. I was obliged to make it immediately upon hearing the idea. To this day it’s one of my favorite designs, if it’s a little hard to understand, that’s the point and what helps make this one of our more Subtle Atheist Designs. To learn more about imaginary numbers check out this video by Khan Academy: Into to the imaginary numbers

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8. Caution. Atheist. May Eat Babies.

Caution Atheists May Eat Babies Funny Atheist Shirt.

This was inspired by a version I found online. It has a fantastic illustration of a stick figure eating a baby, and plays on the, “Atheists eat babies” narrative. I wanted it to look more like an official sign. I really don’t feel like this design is finished yet. I think I did a decent job on the style, but it’s layout kind of bored me and makes me feel like I could have done more. There will definitely be revisions in the future.

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7. Prayer Doesn’t Work

Prayer Doesn't Work Funny Atheist Shirt

I saw this one online and it was really hard to read and had no visuals. The link to the company’s site didn’t work either. So I went ahead and made an equally hard to read version. I later went back and made a revision and that’s what you see below. I think it’s still missing something or maybe the colors are a bit off. I plan to update it in the future, but for now, people really seem to like it. Maybe some praying hands behind it and brighter red font.

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6. Evolutionary Traffic Jam

Evolutionary Traffic Jam Funny Atheist Shirt

Requested by a Facebook follower. This is a classic one that I felt the need to put my mark on. I acquired the image assets on Pixabay.com. This platform is incredible and I sometimes release my designs for free here for people to use for their own projects. They don’t often stay up for long as the atheist designs get turned down or reported until they’re removed. I suggest we add more atheists to the platform to help combat this issue. Follow me on Pixabay.

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5. Religion, Together We Can Find A Cure

Religion Is A Disease Together We Can Find A Cure Funny Atheist Shirt

This was another one I really liked. The ones I did find were very plain, so I produced a super plain one as well. After a few years I decided to get back on it and made a more stylized version. I touched it up with some bold styling and made sure to top it off with the Atheist Wings Symbol.

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4. The Bible, Rated B For Bullshit

The Bible Rated B For Bullshit Funny Atheist Shirt

This one has some pretty obvious inspiration. I created it for some of my gamer friends and it went over really well. Since I’ve created it, there have been a fair share of shitty knock-offs. I appreciate the validation that someone thought it was good enough to make their own version. I plan on making another version with, “F for Fiction.” 

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3. You Pray I’ll Swim

You Pray I'll Swim Funny Atheist Shirt

A close friend of mine recommended this shirt. I forget the adage it’s based on but the original design actually had a shark and the boat was sinking. I may release it at some point in time, but people seem to like this one best so far. I appreciate the depth of the idea, a man going down with a sinking boat while the other swims for safety. 

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2. Throw Religion In The Trash & Save The Planet

Save The Planet Throw Away Religion Funny Atheist Shirt

This was an old favorite of mine, I just didn’t like the fact that the ones on the market didn’t include more religious symbols. It felt like it was open for interpretation and I wanted to make sure people understood, so I drove the message a bit harder by adding additional religions to the trash. No imaginary friends are safe from logic and reason.

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1. I Got Hammered In Jerusalem

Jesus Got Hammered In Jerusalem Funny Atheist Shirt

Hands down one of my favorite designs. I ended up needing to modify an existing vector of Jesus to get it to work correctly. This is what happens when you get stoned and make memes on shirts.There wasn’t any specific motivation to make it, it just happened. It was one of my earliest designs and continues to be a crowd favorite as well.

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We hope you enjoyed our top ten funny atheist shirts!

We have many of these funny atheist designs on alternative apparel and accessories. Feel free to contact us for special requests and join our newsletter for upcoming promotions and deals. We have also launched our loyalty program this week to show our loyal customers how much we appreciate them.

– LT Staff

responses to popular anti-vaxer rhetoric

I made a generic copy/paste that you can all use against antivaxers:

1. The likelihood of ANY “vaccine injury” has less than a 0.0001% chance of happening. (Which includes mild reactions)

2. Those scary toxins in the vaccines go through chemical reactions that make them harmless to the body and easy to metabolize. Think about it this way, sodium and chloride on their own will kill you but together you get table salt.

3. The increase in unhealthy children with diabetes, asthma, allergies, cancer, etc. Is far more likely caused by processed foods, chemical cleaners, pollution, sedentary life in front of screens and the age at which the mother gives birth than vaccines.

4. Your vaccines do not have aborted fetal cells in them. In the 60s some vaccines were created using voluntarily aborted fetal cells, but scientists were able to grow the tissue in the lab, so you are about 3 generations removed from that original vaccine.

5. If herd immunity weakens, and dead diseases make a comeback, they have the opportunity to mutate and evolve making current treatment and prevention methods obsolete, so even if you aren’t willing to “light your child on fire to protect another” who is immunocompromised, remember that.

6. Every medication has risk, as a mother you most likely have used birth control even though is doubles and almost triples your risk of stroke and blood clots. Even aspirin has the possible side effect for blindness and kidney failure.

7. The long term side effects of these diseases are far more likely and much worse than vaccines. Once you have the measles, for example, you are at risk for SSPE, a fatal disease that attacks your nervous system.

8. Stop spreading fear and misinformation, you are far more of a risk than any vaccine.

9. There is less than 0.00001% chance that your child will develop encephalitis from the vaccine compared to 1-3 in 1,000 children contracting measles will develop encephalitis concurrent with the measles infection. 10–15% of those children will die and a further 25% will be left with permanent neurological damage. 1 in 1,000 children with measles will develop post-infectious encephalitis, which has a very high fatality rate. >1-10,000 children develop SSPE, which is 100% fatal in almost all cases (the exception being a single child that survived) When it comes to measles vs. the vaccine, it’s no contest.

•As many as one out of every 20 children with measles gets pneumonia, the most common cause of death from measles in young children.

•About one child out of every 1,000 who get measles will develop encephalitis (swelling of the brain) that can lead to convulsions and can leave the child deaf or with intellectual disability.

•For every 1,000 children who get measles, one or two will die from it.

•Measles may cause pregnant woman to give birth prematurely, or have a low-birth-weight baby.

•Ear infections occur in about one out of every 10 children with measles and can result in permanent hearing loss.

•Diarrhea is reported in less than one out of 10 people with measles. Which can lead to dehydration and secondary complications.

•Measles is also responsible for inhibiting immune responses which leaves the sick individual vulnerable to secondary infections.

10. And even if the infection doesn’t kill you, the morbidity complications from measles are life altering. Some people may suffer from severe complications, such as pneumonia (infection of the lungs) and encephalitis (swelling of the brain). They may need to be hospitalized and could die.

11. It’s not about YOU and “your freedoms”… It’s about everyone else. Stop seeing this as the government trying to regulate your lives. It’s the government enacting a law that protects people. I’ve written to several law makers about this subject and they thankfully agreed that we should have mandatory vaccine requirements to protect the general population. You don’t complain about DUI laws… this really is no different.

12. Since 1988 only 20,522 petitions for vaccine injury compensation have been filed. Of those, only 6,465 were deemed credible and paid out. While the dollar amount was high, the number of cases is much more compelling. Are you going to stop using aspirin for your children because one girl had a terrible, awful reaction where she lost most of her skin and was awarded $63 million? No because it was a very rare reaction. No drug is one size fits all. Unfortunately, some will have adverse reaction but I’ll take the odds of less than 7k vaccine injuries over the last 20 years versus contracting any of these diseases.

California’s glyphosate ruling crosses ethical lines.

A California court is not peer-reviewed science. What we are having here is the legal system unethically crossing the lines into scientific endeavor. If you wanted the courts to be fair, how about place in the courts a bunch of subject-matter experts.

You can tell people that dihydrogen monoxide is an absolutely dangerous chemical that caused a person’s cancer and that every single person that had cancer was exposed to dihydrogen monoxide.
(dihydrogen monoxide is the chemical name for water) The problem is, when you don’t know what science is, you make bad decisions because you were uninformed and uneducated in the subject matter.

We do not have courts make a medical diagnosis, we do not have courts making decisions on how airplanes fly and are designed, we do not have courts making mathematical decisions for engineering, but apparently we now have courts determining scientific matters when it comes to chemicals.

This is not how science works folks! Science is not an ad populum endeavor, it is based upon empirical evidence and years of peer-reviewed research. To use a court case based upon the opinion of non subject matter experts to determine the outcome of what a chemical is or is not responsible for is absolutely pseudoscience and should hold absolutely no grounds. This is a slippery slope and by doing this they are simply adding grease to it.

BREAKING NEWS: ISIS hold Santa Claus hostage after terrorist cell shoots down sleigh.

BREAKING NEWS:
A bombshell report from the Pentagon shows that Santa Claus has been kidnapped by ISIS members somewhere in Syria around the Middle Euphrates River Valley. The report stated that ISIS probably used a rocket propelled grenade to down St. Nicks’ sleigh and drone footage shows what looks to be a crash sight with several dead reindeer.

A propaganda film was identified on an ISIS website showing Santa Claus tied to a chair with an ISIS member making demands to the west to convert to Islam immediately or suffer death. In the video they stated that they would make Santa Claus and the western world would “pay for his (Santa Claus) perversion and that he will be punished dearly for his actions.”

Santa Claus read a script with a gun to his head, pleading with world leaders to immediately implement Sharia law and apologizing for his apparent crimes against Islam and the prophet Mohammed.

At this current time, no information was available on the current condition of Santa Claus but officials at the Pentagon stated the situation looked grim. President Donald J. Trump is scheduled to have a press briefing in the morning when more information becomes available.

Everything That’s Wrong With the Gene-Edited Babies

A Chinese researcher announced Monday that a woman has given birth to twins that he had genetically edited.

As someone who works in biotech, I have a lot of strong feelings about this. I am all for genetically engineering and modifying plant, animal, and human life, as long as it is regulated, ethical, and safe. However, that was not the case here. This was done in complete secrecy with no oversight committee. This is not how we conduct science. The following post contains my own opinions as well as some edited statements from science communicators and scientific institutions.

The Biology

For starters, the researcher claims this gene editing will create HIV-resistant humans. Let’s take a look into the actual biology of what happened. Firstly, the researchers used HIV-positive sperm to fertilize HIV-negative eggs. In order to try and make the embryos resistant to HIV, the CCR5 gene (which codes for a receptor found on white blood cells) was mutated to be non-functional. However, only one of the twins was made homozygous for the CCR5 edit (meaning they received two copies of the edit) while the other was made heterozygous for the edit (they received one edited copy and one unedited copy).

It’s important to remember that people who are heterozygous for the CCR5 non-functional version of this gene are still susceptible to HIV.  Aside from that, this also causes a problem because the CCR5 receptor that HIV uses to enter cells has other functions that are essential to the immune system response.

What’s so reckless about this work is that the loss of a functional CCR5 protein increases susceptibility to flaviviruses, such as West Nile virus. The researcher was attempting to make HIV-1 resistant humans, but trading one deadly virus for another, especially when flaviviruses are endemic worldwide, is an incredibly bad idea.

This is still not even mentioning the fact that he has forced one of the twins to essentially be born with HIV. To knowingly and purposefully use HIV-positive sperm to fertilize an egg is beyond disturbing. (A big thanks to The Mad Virologist for providing a lot of the information here.)

The Ethics

Secondly, the NIH said it best in their statement denouncing this researcher’s work: “The medical necessity for the inactivation of CCR5 in these infants is completely unconvincing. […] the possibility of damaging off-target effects has not been satisfactorily explored.

What that means is that the use of CRISPR, which is an extremely powerful and new gene editing tool, has been known to edit genes that were not intended to be edited.

This is perhaps the most concerning aspect.

This is why we have regulations and oversight committees. We have no idea what the long term effects of these edits are going to be. Any ethical scientific institution would have needed much more evidence before beginning human trials. This is why we have animal studies and programs that can run simulations using different theoretical nucleotide sequences. To jump straight to human trials is completely and utterly unethical.

We have international standards that we abide by because we’ve seen what happens when people *don’t* abide to ethical principles. I’m of course talking about eugenics, nazi testing, the Tuskegee experiments, etc. Testing new scientific breakthroughs will never be 100% completely ethical, but we can set rules and limitations to make them as ethical as possible.

The Future Effects

Another deeply concerning aspect is the fact that these edits can now be passed on into the human germline. In other words, if these children end up reproducing they can pass these edited genes into the human gene pool. This would begin affecting every single future generation of humans. Especially given the fact that you would need two copies of the edit in order to theoretically become HIV resistant, this is highly dangerous. We would see a large increase of humans who are now much more susceptible to the flavivirus.

In my opinion, which obviously can be changed if I’m philosophically convinced otherwise, we essentially need to look at the possibility of sterilizing them for the sake of future generations and the human germline. And that in itself is a horribly unethical thing to do.

Conclusion

We have absolutely no idea how the researchers conducted themselves. Everything they did was kept in secret rather than them going through peer-reviewed publications. No oversight committees, regulations, or anything.

Doing science this way is completely unacceptable. I am all for the genetic modification of plants, animals, and humans, and I’ve been a proponent of that for years. But if we want to use this powerful and amazing technology, it needs to be regulated and have federal and international oversight. Without those ethical standards, scientific progress is not progress. This is not the way we conduct science. This is unethical. This is dangerous. This is not innovative by any definition of the word.

How chronic pain sufferers / people with autoimmune diseases are targeted by woo.

A lot the time chronic pain sufferers/people w autoimmune diseases are desperate for a good treatment, or maybe even a cure even if their judgement tells them that is bad advice.

People try to take advantage of these people all the time.I have polled a group of people that are chronically ill. Including myself. There’s plenty of bad advice out there but these are my findings that stuck out the most.

Examples

  • MLM scam known as Mona-Vie (sold as a cure all for mental, physical, and even to cure cancer)
  • Meditation
  • Prayer
  • Gluten free life
  • Veganism or raw vegan diet
  • Yoga
  • Acupuncture
  • Just relax
  • Reiki
  • Random piercings
  • Juice cleansing AKA Jilly juice
  • Symptoms must be caused by Hysteria
  • “Autoimmune paleo diet”
  • Organic Juice only
  • Probiotics/gut bacteria
  • “It’s the devil”
  • Coconut oil
  • Consume breast milk
  • Enemas
  • Chaga Tea
  • Atheism causes physical pain
  • Seizures are caused by fungus, mold, eating dairy, & gluten
  • Depression invented by “big pharma”
  • Onions in socks overnight
  • Don’t eat or drink cold things
  • Essential oils
  • Raw veggies to detox
  • More exercise (endometriosis) breastfeeding “prevents” it
  • Caused by poor self esteem
  • Lavender to treat fibromyalgia
  • All in your head
  • Go outside more
  •  Smoking marijuana/eat it as a vegetable(if it doesn’t work, you need more)
  • Bathe once a week in malt vinegar (Celiac)
  • Amylose-free diet
  • Swedish calisthenics
  • Glyphosate
  • Meds for illness are actually causing illness
  • Apple cider
  • Intravenous infusions of vitamin C
  • Turmeric
  • Crystals
  • Accept Jesus into your heart and you’ll be cured
  • Anxiety is caused by a secret sin and needs to be confessed to Jesus
  • The doctors have lasers for that, but they don’t want you to know
  • Getting audited for Scientology would cure all physical and mental ailments
  • Eat boiled cabbage after accepting Jesus into your heart
  • Elderberry soup to boost immune system ( immune system actively attacking this person’s brain)
  • Autoimmune disorder was actually a vaccine injury
  • Back pain from herniated bulging disc. OB referral to chiropractor while 7 months pregnant. Wanted to adjust her back right then.
  • Say ” I am healing from EDS” instead of “I have EDS” and the genes will fix themselves
  • Attend the landmark forum and stop experiencing negativity as pain. You will also no longer burn in the Sun
  • All medical issues are caused by a bad attitude and you deserve it if cinnamon honey cannot cure it
  • Although this person had their reflexes checked. The doctor determine the young woman didn’t have an autoimmune disease and just needed more sleep. The Physician try to prescribe sleeping medicine
  •  Nurse practitioner had patient hold small glass vials with names like “gluten” or “wheat”. Had patient touch head with one finger while the nurse practitioner tried to push down the hand holding a vial. This told the nurse practitioner what foods the patient was sensitive to.
  • Random man saw an article about a young woman with lupus leading the Lupus walk. He looked up her phone number and called her to tell her she was drinking too much soda and chewing too much gum. The woman was scared to hang up and ended up having to listen to his conspiracies.

These are just some examples of the terrible things said knowing the despair of chronic illness. It is very sickening to even read 1/4 of this. We need to do better.

The problem of debating without knowing what the f*** the position of your opponent is. 

Have you ever debated with someone who says “you Atheists believe we came from a monkey…” or “it’s you who believe this or that”?
Knowing what your opponent thinks or what his/her points are should be the basis of every debate for it to have some merit.

ass_of_u_and_me

I would like to say that our community is impervious to debating mere assumptions and that it is a bulwark of critical thinking, but, unfortunately, that’s not the case.

I cannot say I haven’t ever assumed what another person believes just by listening to the label that person has chosen to be labeled as, but that’s certainly not an ideal situation.

This is something that occurs when people are fed up with endless discussions and it is easier to dismiss a whole argument just by assuming what the other person will say based on the premise they’ve given than spending time listening or reading to what they are going to say to state their positions on a subject.

One common example is when a theist defends the idea that reality was created by a deity or group of deities and someone opposing that way of thinking assumes what other things that person may believe, like if the person is a young Earth creationist or a Bible thumping southerner who speaks in tongues.

While this may begin just with a misrepresentation of the other person’s position, it can easily devolve into a discussion where the topic at hand is nothing more than a strawman of what was originally being discussed; this situation is especially dangerous when it is a mob against an individual and rationality is not the goal, but bashing the individual who disagrees with the loud majority.

This is something that is prevalent in discussion sites that talk about subjective positions like politics, where each person has a different opinion even within the group, with varying degrees of acceptance between different propositions.

“I believe H”
“Then you are X, Y and Z because most people who believe in H also believe in X, Y & Z; therefore you are evil as I don’t share your opinion.”

As ridiculous as that example may be, plenty of discussions online are managed in such a way, making a cartoon of the other person’s position and then categorizing him or her as wrong or plainly evil due to the disagreement, mixing judgements of value with personal opinions and facts.
The discussion could soon become one side defending his or her own character against accusations about X, Y or Z.

At best this is the result of intellectual laziness or at worst of intellectual dishonesty.

The next example is about a picture of a assuming_positionswoman marching in favor of gun control, the response featured in here is against the way the

woman presented her case, not against gun control; the following responses misrepresent the position of the first response and assume what that person thinks of the whole debate, there is even one appealing to emotions.

assumptions_of_beliefs

“To effectively debate someone you have to know their position even better than themselves.”

A common debating principle.

Logical fallacies related to this:

David Goodall’s Death Reaffirms How Important the “Right to Die” Is

As many of you may have heard by now, renowned ecologist David Goodall has passed away. While it is of course extremely unfortunate to hear about the death of somebody who was well-loved, I think the details surrounding his passing make for an interesting philosophical discussion.

The cause of his death was suicide, however it was not suicide in a way that society would consider “conventional.” Rather, he ended his own life by a method known assisted suicide. Assisted suicides differ from conventional suicides as they occur under the care, supervision, and judgement of physicians, therapists, and psychologists.

Goodall’s death seems to have reignited the discussion surrounding assisted suicide, especially regarding its philosophy and ethics, so I decided I would like to weigh in on this issue since it is something that I have personally thought, read, and talked about for a long time.

__________________________________________________________

To paraphrase a quote by Daniel Defoe, “There are only two things certain in life: death and taxes.” If the statement is true, then we should have the right to determine how death and taxes occur and play out.

We have the ability to vote for our government officials who will then go on to enact legislation and policies regarding how much tax we will have to pay and how those taxes will be used. If you dislike taxation, you may likely vote for the candidate who supports lower taxes. If you find that paying more taxes is beneficial, you may likely vote for the person who takes that platform as well.

What I find so egregious however, is the fact that we don’t have a system set up which allows us to decide how we die. At the very least, one of the last decisions we ever make in our life should be how we depart this world. We write our wills, hopefully pick our nursing homes, and prepare our end-of-life care as much as we possibly can, however the vast majority of us still don’t have the ability to preferentiate when and how we die.

To die with dignity is a noble and novel concept. For someone to die on their own terms can be one of the most empowering choices they will ever make. It’s almost definitely how I will choose to go. I have been a personal supporter of the right to die for as long as I can remember. And I don’t mean just for terminally ill people. If someone wants to die and perhaps therapy, drugs, etc have all failed, then why should they be stopped from seeking assisted suicide as an option? It is their life, their body, and they have a fundamental right to seek this method of suicide.

Mr. Goodall had to fly all the way from Australia to Switzerland in order to end his life in the closest way possible to how he wanted. He said he would have rather died in Australia, but Australia’s laws made the prospect of finding a safe assisted suicide clinic impossible. While I’m glad he was able to find a facility in Switzerland, it is still slightly depressing to me that he could not die in his home country as he wanted.

We need to give people safe and effective ways to end their life. Doctors, therapists, psychologists, facilities, and equipment dedicated to assisted suicide.

David spent his last hours with his friends and family while enjoying his favorite food and activities. During his final moments, as he listened to Beethoven’s Symphony No. 9, the last movement ‘Ode to Joy’ began. David flicked a switch which would administer the drug that would stop his heart and his eyes closed for the final time just two minutes later.

Much like the debate surrounding Planned Parenthood, women who want or need abortions will seek alternative and dangerous methods if they are not given easier access to safe abortion facilities. If people want to kill themselves, they’re going to do it. We should at least give them a space which is safe and dignifying.

​Twas the Night before madness…

I don’t celebrate Christmas, I don’t have a Christmas tree in my living room, there’s nothing outside dangling that is festive, I don’t say merry Christmas and only say Happy holidays out of obligation, in all honesty, I sincerely hate this time of year. Let me elaborate so you all don’t think I’m just being depressed or cynical.

For one, as probably all of you may know, I’m an outspoken atheist. For me this time of year is a constant reminder of how people’s deeply held superstition still persists and is quite literally forced in your face in December. The whole aspect of the Christmas season is a Frankenstein holiday, nevertheless Christians never seem to figure this out. They celebrate a holiday that the person they are celebrating… wouldn’t even celebrate.

That being said, it doesn’t take that much applied critical thinking and a minor understanding of geological and historical knowledge to realize that according to the ridiculous book known as the Bible, never mentioned an exact date for this supposed birth; but what we do know is that historically the Romans did their census in the spring and shepherds don’t leave their flocks out at night in the winter, especially since it sometimes snows in Bethlehem during the the winter. So from a historical position, if Jesus did exist, he would have been born in spring. The story of Jesus’ birth is also borrowed mythology as well, born of a virgin, in a manger, a brilliant star in the sky guiding wise men visiting from a far, all borrowed stories from other religions (then again a lot of stories from the Bible are borrowed stories). And being born in the middle east in December, where the altitude in Bethlehem is 2,500 ft above sea level and has an average late December temperature of 42°f, you’d think there would be more emphasis on keeping a newborn warm during this time of year. So that’s why I scoff at Christmas from the very premise of it.
The history of Christmas is just as dubious, especially when it comes to Christmas tradition. Getting people to embrace the Christian religious beliefs did pose a challenge to earlier followers of this religion, especially in European areas where they held their own religious beliefs and traditions in December. We know that in an effort to make the Christian religious beliefs more acceptable to the Europeans in the late Iron age, they had to adopt traditional times of celebration that other religions had. Yule, Winter solstice, Ziemassvētki, etc. were pagan traditional holidays this time of year. And in an effort to convert the people of these religious beliefs, the Christian Church adopted the customs and traditions of these holidays in an attempt to make the Christian religion more appealing (and it worked).
So with all this being said, now you know why I refer to it as a Frankenstein holiday. But this isn’t just what bothers me about this holiday season, this is more of an irritation to me. It’s the people themselves that really get under my skin as well as the expectations society has that really erks me.
People are at their most hypocritical point this time of year. They pretend to be happy and helpful with a desire to help their fellow man (which sometimes they do for this short period of time), but mostly they come across as pretentious and fake with a holier-than-thou attitude. For some reason people feel like they need a special occasion to help one another, and they aren’t really doing it for the right reasons; they’re doing it because they themselves feel like they need to appease a bearded white man that knows if they’re good or bad and will either punish or reward them for their efforts or there by lack of (sound familiar?). So they smile with tongue in cheek and pretend to be merry and joyful and scoff at those of us that dare roll our eyes.
This is where Christians are at their most loudest, their pinacle of bigotry this time of year and it’s truly pathetic. Masquerading around like they’re being oppressed and screaming there’s a “war on Christmas” and how they’re being so undoly discriminated against if anyone dares to tell them to kindly keep their religious beliefs to themselves. The arrogance this time of year makes me only gain in my disdain for the holiday season, but just when you think this couldn’t sound any worse than it is; society and capitalism ensures to add insult to injury.
We lie to our impressionable children and tell them a white bearded man will reward them with toys and treats if they behave (sound familiar?). And we constructed a grandiose back story about this character we call Santa Claus with it’s own customs and traditions that dazzle children and gives them hope (sound familiar?). All to eventually find out that it was all just a lie to keep them in line. Why do we do this to them when we know it’s wrong? (Maybe it’s because society tells us it’s ok)

And with that lie we the parents need to deliver on that promise, and dig ourselves into a financial hole by spending money we don’t have! But wait, just when you think this couldn’t be any worse, it does!
To add to the financial burden and pain of the societal expectation to buy treats and gifts for our children, we also do the same for our family, friends, acquaintances and coworkers, because if we don’t you’re an asshole! And businesses capitalize on this and assault your senses with a barrage of Christmas music and decorative displays  and just short of fumigating the air with the scent of cinnamon and pine; all in an attempt to get you to spend more of your hard earned cash that you really should be using for other things like bills. What’s worse is people buy right into this hook, line, and sinker and spend that money on holiday sales to the point that businesses mark their growth on just this month alone.
It’s pure chaos and hypocrisy wrapped in colorful paper with bow of insanity on top. But remember if you’re not singing joyful merry Christmas tunes then people have a name for this as well Ebenezer Scrooge… Bah-Humbug!
So happy holidays to you all, I hope a reindeer display falls on your head so maybe I won’t have to hear merry Christmas… again.

– Daniel Fisk Bennett

Response to the “Perfect Earth”

Have you ever actually looked at our planet? How many places on Earth would actually kill you if you were there? How many places on Earth are lethal to life in general, let alone human life? I’m sure in your natural state (meaning completely naked and unaided) if we dropped you just about anywhere from where we originally evolved from you would eventually die due to the environment.

So let’s talk hypothetically, if we dropped you in the center of Antarctica (or any other living animal for that matter) you would quickly freeze dry within a few minutes. I’m sure if we put you on top of Mount Everest (or any other animal for that matter) you would suffocate and die (if not freeze to death very rapidly first.) If you were put on the bottom of the ocean (which by the way makes up 70% of the earth’s surface) you and many other animals would instantly die ( FYI you would be crushed by the sheer pressure of the water before you could drown). I’m sure if we put you on the middle of a salt flat somewhere in the Kalahari Desert you would eventually die and completely dehydrate into a mummy, same goes with most other animals.

By the way salt flats in deserts are not very uncommon as deserts make up some 33% or a 3rd of earth’s non water covered surface. That’s just short of 10% of the entire earth’s surface when you include the water of the oceans. So that means 20% of the earth’s surface is left… but that also includes other things like tundra, artic and subartic, mountains, temperate zones, rainforests, and tropical regions. In our natural state, we can only survive in tropical regions. Tropical regions comprise approximately 7% of the earth’s dry land surface or just short of 2% of earth’s total surface and sustains over 50% of all species, that’s not very much space… In-fact if you just stand out in the sun long enough you would eventually die due to exposure… These are simple facts.

There are very few areas where a human can naturally survive, and those areas are filled with very large predators that evolved to eat us. For a place that was supposedly so perfectly created for us, it sure seems to want to kill us a lot; and has a great deal of completely uninhabitable areas and areas that are inherently dangerous to we fragile humans… So much for that intelligent design hypothesis you had.

-Daniel Bennett